…Four months later…

Yes, the quest to quit drinking still is a goal.  Having recently spent time in Mexico, I took advantage of enjoying a free flow of Tequila.  For the most part though, being with my wife, I abstained a lot until Christmas Eve and then I let loose.  After all, my wife gave me permission to drink.  It was as good of an excuse as any.

I’ve been back to the states now for a week and activities which I had expected to be engaged in have been delayed.  Doesn’t really matter though.  The tradition is a week of binging upon returning from Mexico to get adjusted to solo living.  I’ve been doing this for more than 15 years now.  As I rode the cab to the Mexico City airport last week, I calculated that I must have made this trip at least 100 times in the past 15-16 years.  Imagine the ritual and the amount of drinking I must have been doing.

Sixteen years ago, when I started going to Mexico again regularly, I believe that I went at least once a month.  If I had been engaging in this tradition back then, I guess it didn’t leave me too much time to be sober. 

I have finished the gifts from Mexican friends (of course bottles of fine Tequila) and even had a bottle of vodka to boot.  But I have again reached that point in drinking where you can drink and drink and nothing happens.  I suppose that is some kind of danger signal.  More importantly, I can’t imagine how my liver must look and all my innards. I once met a woman who worked at a clinic for liver transplants.  She told me how aweful it is to be in that condition, waiting for a liver transplant.  And it’s so hard to get a new one.   I guess though I don’t think about these things when I go through my robotics and pour myself a large glass of liquid poison.

So again, I find myself all drunked out and ready to move on to 2010 and achieve my goals.  Of course, as every year goes, there is the weight to take off and of course with chronic drinking, the weight loss goal gets larger.  I’m at 25 kilos now and this is certainly quite possible.  It’s a mere 1 pound a week.  I’ve got to imbibe at least a pound’s worth of calories each week just through drinking, not to mention how alcohol shuts down your body’s ability to burn fat and for me, it dramatically increases my appetite.

While I have things to do tomorrow, my mind is steadfast in the desire to return to the gym.  It’s been awhile but one of my New Year’s resolutions is not just to go to the gym on a regular basis, but to make the gym my hobby.  When I was in Erie PA, I went to the gym religiously and dropped a lot of fat quickly.  I was looking good in just three months time.  Why can’t I, instead of drinking and being idle, watching stupid tv, head on off to the gym when I’m bored and do some weights, ride the bike, enjoy the sauna and steam. 

I’ve forgotten how good a hard workout feels.  It is truly addicting once you get the endorphins cooking.  You can’t wait for the next workout.  It’s better than a drug and the results are great.  All it takes is a few trips and the beginning of a new habit.  Can I do it this time?  I bet I can.  WIth your help.  Send me your support.

Let’s Try it Again!

Once again, I am turning to my blog. Holding myself out to public scrutiny. Some three months ago I believe I went like 51 days straight without a drink. Sometimes is was easy but other times is was oh so hard.

I found that when I was ready to take that drink, I closed off my mind to any thought whatsoever and acted as if I were a machine. I deserved it. I had worked hard and had a very successful week. And so for that successful week, I was rewarded with many months worth of drinking.

I must admit that many wonderful things have been happening to me in the past few months. Since my return from Mexico in August, I have been very positive and focused on achieving goals. But then I think last Saturday, I have had but one sober day. My sleep is becoming disturbed and instead of starting my morning off by going to the gym and focusing on my “perfect day,” I have turned to distractions.

I am ready to try again and hope for greater success. I found a very nice web page – wikiHow on how to quit drinking:

== Steps ==
Change your attitude about quitting! Remember, you’re not being forced to give up a good friend who has treated you well. Instead, you are finally ridding yourself of an awful enemy who has robbed you of many great pleasures in life.

Constantly remind yourself of what a great thing you are doing and hold tightly to your quit. Remember that you are pardoning yourself from a life sentence in the prison of alcoholism and you will always hold the key.

Try to pick some significant date to quit. Be ambitious, but reasonable. If you are very heavy drinker you must first slow down to avoid withdraws (in this case it is best to have your doctor help you plan your quit date).

Get rid of all bottles, cans, etc.

Revise recipes that call for wine so you do not have it in the kitchen.

Buy a wallet and whenever you think about buying a bottle or a drink, put that amount of money in your sober wallet. It will shock you. Use this for healthier stress relief: massage, visit to a day spa, yoga class…

Buy a small piece of inexpensive jewelry like a ring or bracelet, or henna your hand, or get a special manicure to remind you that these hands no longer buy or touch alcohol.

 Drink a lot of water.

 Consider joining a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous. These groups have helped millions of people to quit. There are also secular support groups as well such as SMART Recovery.

 Never take another sip.

 Deny yourself nothing except the alcohol – You can have anything you want, as long as it’s not alcohol (so long as you’re not replacing the alcohol with another addiction).

 Don’t try to explain quitting or trying to quit to people — if they themselves are not in this situation, they are unable to fathom what you’re trying to do. Many people will try to enable you and convince you to drink so they can feel better about their own addiction.

 Admit to yourself, and remember it, that there is absolutely nothing in your life more important than this one thing.

 Do not avoid all situations where you would normally drink. Instead approach them with a good attitude and remember that you can have a good time without drinking.
 Memorize a prayer, poem or something (i.e. Hamlet’s speech “To be or not to be”) to repeat to yourself when you are losing your mind; trying to remember it will keep your head together sometimes.

 Give yourself a prize for every day or every hour that you haven’t had a drink.

 Talk to your doctor. Alcohol withdrawal can potentially be deadly. If you start experiencing severe hallucinations, you should check into a hospital or treatment center.

 ”He who conquers others is mighty. He who conquers himself is almighty.”

 Take a B-vitamin supplement daily for your first week off alcohol. Alcohol affects the ability of the body to absorb these (specifically thiamine). Deficiency can cause severe cognitive impairment (Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome or wet brain).

 If you are tempted, try to visualize what you might look like totally out of control. Do you really want to be that person again?

 If you are a scheduled drinker, like after work or when you go home, change your routine to involve another activity like visiting your parents or a friend.

 

I continue to evolve in life and I find myself moving in the great direction, where I want to be.  I realize that I cannot have alcohol as a part of my life.  When I am not drinking, I am alert, focused, positive, happy…  When I am drinking, I start to dwell on all of the little upsets that occur every day. 

There is nothing more important to me than staying positive from the moment I wake up until the time I enter into my dreams.  I need to stay totally focused on my goals.  With alcohol in my life, again, I lose time and momentum.  It is a demon that must be put away.

Tomorrow begins DAY 1 again….

The Dream

Living My Dream

We all have our ups and downs in life. It’s never easy. But once in awhile special things happen that make our experience here on Earth something very special.

Nearly 30 years ago, as a college student, I studied archaeology and specialized in the Maya, indigenous indians that populated the Eastern part of Mexico and parts of Central America. While I traveled to exotic places, the real adventure was to travel on the Usumacinta River and visit such obscure places as Yaxchilan, Bonampak and Piedras Niegras. These ancient Mayan cities are deep in the jungle and 30 years ago, getting there was quite an adventure.  I saw many wonderful sites but had always longed to return to the jungles of Chiapas Mexico, make my way to the Usuamacinta River and see the sites that I have longed to see.

The day finally arrived, nearly 30 years later.  Tears were in my eyes as the mist of river water sprayed across my face.  a life long dream comes true.<p>

No matter how hard things may be, there are always these moments in life that make it all so wonderful.

Eternal Life?

Eternity

Bacteria from over 100,000 years ago were recently discovered and resurrected after over 120,000 years.  Can this be possible?

Many believe that the Earth is just 4,000 years old and that everything was created at that time.  Having a degree in archaeology it’s hard for me to accept this biblical account of creation.  I once lived with a fundamentalist who, when questioned about archaeological finds responded, “God is testing your faith.”

Why does faith need to be tested?  Why is it that fundmentalists insist that the Bible is correct?  I don’t understand.  Did Adam and Eve’s children mate with each other?  When Cain killed Abel, he left and went off to another society, no?  How do we have black, white, indian, oriental?  We were all descended for Adam and Eve?  Is all of the Chinese history incorrect?   How is it that indians existed on our continent at the same time of creation?  Where there more than one set of chosen people? 

Could it be that the Bible refers to just a specific group of people?  God appeared to certain people of the Jewish heritage but not to others.  I often wonder why I, as a Christian, pray to a God who has never revealed Himself to Christians.  I often wonder.  Is there an answer?  Will the God of the Jews care about me when it’s all over? 

As a Catholic, I learned that unless you were a Catholic, you would spend eternity in hell.  Yet some Protestant groups claim that the Catholic church is the anti-Christ.  They trashed me for my faith. 

Does anyone know the truth?  Meanwhile, these entities that lived 120,000 years ago and now are alive again, how do we justify their existance when many believe that the universe did not exist at this time? 

 

Any thoughts are welcome.  Keep it friendly please.  I’ve lived too long and really don’t know what to think anymore.

Goal Accomplishments the Best

If you have been following my often-time mind-less rambles, you might get the idea the I am a strong believer in Goal Setting and Achieving Goals.  There is nothing more gratifying in life than setting your mind to something and then doing it!  It builds up the self-confidence and the belief that you can do anything you set your mind to.

My long-time struggle has been with alcohol and as this blog illustrates, I have been doing a pretty good job of ridding my life from this burden. One of the things that I thought would naturally follow is the loss of weight. I have been heavy for years. I would often think about the calories that I gained from drinking and then worse, my appetite soars under the influence and I eat and eat and eat. How wouldn’t sobriety make a difference in my weight?

It didn’t. In fact I really feel the worst that I have ever felt. I’m sure that I have been heavier but I can’t recall feeling as “fat” as I do now. I’ve got to change this. Today I set forth on this new goal. I’d like to say that ideally I’d like to be between 165 and 175 pounds but the truth is, I have only gotten below 200 pounds just once in recent years. I guess before I get too ambitious, I need to get below 200 pounds and then go from there.

I think that the solution is more raw fruits and vegetables. I know what needs to be done. It’s just time to do it. While quitting drinking was an accomplishment that brought me satisfaction, it is a personal, internal victory over a demon. It’s a matter of survival that few people can see or even know about. But weight? That’s a whole different story. It is right there – in your face! Everyone sees it.

When I was younger, I used to have this sense that fat people are irresponsible. I felt that everyone has a choice of being fat or not. And now, when I look at myself, or when I am in public, I feel the self-consciousness about this. So the day is today. Day 1 for my new goal. I’ve got to make this happen.

Drifting Back in Time

Next month I will find myself on an exhilerating adventure in Mexico. It was nearly 30 years ago, January, 1980 when I first made the journey. For three months, my friend and I and others that we met traversed the vast country experiencing the mountains, the beaches, the jungles.

My wife, a native Mexican (who in fact I met on this first trip) had never been to the jungle nor to Merida and surrounding archaelogical sites like the now world famous Chichen Itza (one of the new seven wonders of the world). So we decided that the time is now to make the trip!

Today, I was reviewing some YouTube videos of Diane Hochman, one of my Facebook friends. She mentioned a tool called blip.fm.   It’s a wonderful music site.  Being in the mind of the Mexican trip, I remember a time, laying in the sun on the virgin beach of Zipolite and listening to music by Santana.  Caravanserai.  It’s so mellow.  I’ll never forget the cover.  A huge golden sun in the background with a caravan of camels moving across the desert.  Zipolite was a little like that.  In the afternoon, wild horses would trot across the beach.  There was no noise except the waves, few people, it was truly paradise.

I have found again the music on this blip.fm and listening contentedly to it.  I can’t wait for the vacation.  I will certainly post photos of the adventures here.  Can’t wait.  Soon I’ll again be in Mexico.  Mexico Lindo!

Day 4 (point 2)

It used to be that getting to day 5 was a challenge.  This time around though, it doesn’t appear to be.  The urges to have a drink that relentlessly nagged at me for days on end just a week or two ago have passed.  Don’t wish to get too cocky though.  I need to continue to stay focused on NOT drinking.  It’s a certainly what I will accomplish while drinking.  Nothing.  Staying sober opens up a whole new world of possibilities.  Now only if I could lose weight.

I’m happy to announce that next month I will return to Mexico but don’t know for how long.  My wife and I are going to explore the jungles of Chiapas.  I had been there in 1980 and it was glorious.  I was studing archaeology at the time and stayed for weeks outside of the ruins of Palenque in a hammock camp.  I felt like Tarzan wearing just a loin cloth and romping around through the jungle. 

You can’t believe how much you sweat in the jungle.  Despite drinking gallons and gallons of water each day, I never had to use the facilities if you know what I mean.  And the weight dripped off like melting butter.  I had never felt so healthy in all of my life.

While I doubt that I will have the same experience traveling now with my wife, I can’t wait to return.  I can imagine that I will see so much more this time around as it’s probably easier to get around.  Tourists have ruined most of the world and I’m sure even the bowels of the jungle now have hotels and travel tours etc.  I hope it won’t break my heart to see lots of development there.  I remember how early in the morning, natives would emerge from the forest and place gifts in front of the pyramid temples there.  What happened to the Maya?  The lost civiization.  Well, they are or were still there, just invisible. 

Last night I went to my committee meeting for the Community Outreach program.  The project is not as ambitious as I would like it to be but I figure you have to start with baby steps.  And being new to the organization, I choose to keep my mouth shut as much as possible and learn how things are.  In the general Club meeting, some offered ambitious ideas about various things but the Club president would remind people of what the Club’s mission was.  That doesn’t mean though that we can’t pursue our ambitions.  University representatives chimed in saying that the school encourages people to have the idea and run with it.  The school will support you.  Only they don’t themselves have enough resources to do the work.  But if you want to do it, go for it.

Well, that’s how I’m feeling today.  Go for it!

Day 3 (again)

Well, it’s not so bad.  I feel fresh, renewed!  Somehow invigorated.  I had this pressing thing on my back.  Going without a drink for 51 days.  Wow, it was a feat to be sure.  At least for me.  Now again, I continue to challenge myself not to fall.  So far, I am fine.  Thanks to all of you who had a concern.  I can’t really say that it was good or bad that I broke down and had my drink.  As I say, I feel that the pressure is off now.  I don’t have the big desire to drink.  I guess having again tasted the stuff, I find that it does little for me.  It doesn’t solve any problems, it doesn’t improve my life.  It just is.

A Big Question

While I am feeling fine and very positive, I have to ask why some people get so bogged down in worry to the point that it leads them to depression.  Someone I know who is very close to me is currently very depressed.  I don’t know why but I can’t imagine that is anything more than life.  The economy is bad for many of us and family members get sick and old.  All of these things happen and there is nothing that we can do about them.  We have to accept life as it is.  If we can do something to improve the situation, then we must do our best to make a change.  But many times, there is nothing that we can do.  Yet some worry and worry and worry to the point that it makes them sick.  I don’t understand it.

I see it as a problem just as serious as my drinking.  First of all, it is a conscious choice we make to be worried and depressed.   Well, this is my belief and in all fairness, there may be some medical condition that causes depression.  But I have seen how in a matter of moments, as I write my blog, that I can totally turn around my mood from dwelling in the pit of doom, confessing that I am ready to jump off the cliff and dive into a bottle of vodka and yet moments later, I can conclude feeling positive and motivated and ready to tackle a new project. 

I like to watch the movie The Secret every now and then.  I know the material and have practiced a similar philosophy for many years.  I like the part that says that if we think happy and positive thoughts, even if we aren’t particularly happy in the moment, we will attract things that make us happy.  I’m not sure that we are a magnet and actually pull in things as the movie suggests, I think that it’s more that these things are already present and it’s just that we aren’t recognizing them because we are too focused on what is wrong instead of what is right.  Attitude is Everything!

A New Goal

Writing is such a wonderful thing and especially when you can express yourself without bounds as we do here in the blogs.  As I write, I am able to empty my mind of the many thoughts that I have. Some come and go, never to be seen again, while others linger. One thing that I find is that I am often challenged to define exactly what I do in my business, but when I write, everything flows out like running water. I only need to review the things that I write when I’m not trying to learn who I am, what I’m all about and what I want to accomplish in life.

Yesterday’s blog brought out a goal that I had not too long ago. I had thought that it is quite possible to generate $50 billion to charity. While it seems like an unreachable number, it’s not really. When I worked in the ultra high net worth estate planning arena, I believe that through my planning efforts, some $4 billion was transferred to charity. When I think about this, I feel that this is a true accomplishment.

Does the ‘Law of Attraction’ Really Work>

Does positive attitude work? Does this “Secret” work? Does Prayer work? I’m going to find out. My new goal is to get $50 billion to charity. They say that if you have a burning desire to achieve your goal and you focus your thoughts on it and review it every day, you cannot fail. But $50 billion?

I like what they say in The Secret about this. “The Universe Will Find a Way.”

First Major Effort Tonight

Tonight marks the kickoff of my efforts to raise $50 billion. I recently became active in a sub-committee of the Community Relations Committee of the Kellogg Alumni Association of Chicago. Kellogg is the graduate business school of Northwestern University. I earned my MBA there. It is one of the top business schools in the nation. There are many many important business executives and others who went to Kellogg.  Some are billionaires.  I’m sure that just through my alumni associations, lots of money and labor can be directed towards my charitable goal.

Yesterday I also started a Facebook group, Doing God’s Work on Earth.  I know that I can’t do this alone.  I need your help and all of your friends’ help as well.  I don’t think it would be impossible to get a thousand if not a million people to sign up to help.  If a million people across the world participated in this effort, each one of us would only need to generate $50,000 to charity. 

I don’t know the tax laws in other countries but I do know that in both the US and Mexico, you can receive charitable deductions for contributions.  My work here will consist of bringing charitable planning techniques to people who have money.  I will strive to identify tax experts in other countries to further help along this goal.

 

I am also writing a blog now at htt[:/www.doinggodswork.wordpress.com.

If you want to help, go to Facebook or any of my blogs and jump in.  Thanks

Doing something like this can certainly fill up my free time .  It’s the best way to keep me sober!

Sobriety 2.0 – TNG

Day 2 now on Sobriety 2.0, The Next Generation.  Hope that isn’t a copyright or trademark and I will soon find myself with a law suit.  That would certainly drive me to drink 

I move forward with no ill after effects of my recent decision to have a drink.  I won’t refer to it as a “fall” or anything negative.  After all, it was my decision.  It wasn’t done as a result of frustration, although I was feeling stressed earlier in the day and was thinking about drinking.  No, I consciously decided to go out to dinner and have some wine with my meal.  I viewed it in a positive light and will continue to do so.  It will only be negative if I find myself using it as an excuse to hit the bottle again and get drunk.  So far that hasn’t happened.

And actually, I’m feeling quite positive this morning.  I got an e mail from a woman in Singapore who writes a futures trading blog.  I asked her to review my blog at http://www.assetdesigncenter.com and if she liked it, to add it to her blog roll.  She responded this morning and liked what I am doing.  In fact, I’ve gotten many nice comments on my newsletter and blogs.  People tell me that ‘you really know your stuff,’ you’re on the right track,’ ”you’ve really got something there,’ etc. 

I searched my company name on Google and it is getting more prominent.  Really, this is my judge of success.  I’m not one of those people who are going crazy to do the SEO and get to the top of the list.  Hey, I’m not even selling anything yet.  I’m just putting my stuff out there.  Anyway, I was excited to see that others have picked up my blog writings and posted it on their websites.  My Ezine articles have been published elsewhere many times now.  So this is a positive thing and I feel that I am on the right track.  I want to grow my business and build my brand name.

This past week, I’ve made the effort to get out and start getting involved in organizations.  I’m always a bit against it because I move around so much.  I hate to join something or take on some responsibility then find myself moving.  I wish I could have some roots.  But I have been seriously thinking of staying in the Chicago area and trying to make a stand here.  It’s just that the taxes are so high here.  Might as well go back to California where at least the weather is nicer and the sun shines every day.

I also mentioned in yesterday’s blog how I am getting involved in the Community Relations thing.  I can’t think of anything that could lift up my life more than this.  I’ve been in the financial planning industry for many years now.  My focus had been the ultra-high-net worth client with more than $10 million.  I guess that’s not so much anymore but ten years ago, it was a lot of money.  There are times though that I get so disgusted with my work thinking how tired I am of making rich people even richer.  And then you know the funny part is, the rich people, they aren’t happy.  The money hasn’t made them happy at all.  In the end, they are scrambling to get rid of their money so that the government doesn’t take half of it away in taxes.  It seems so silly that people focus their life on money, foresaking everything else and then in the end, they can’t get rid of it fast enough.

And not only that, it’s sad to hear the stories that they tell when working out their estate distribution plan.  Many heirs get cut out totally and you hear stories of how so and so was trying to kill me, so and so was trying to steal my money, so and so did this, so and so did that.  And us regular people think that WE HAVE PROBLEMS?  Are you kidding me????

If you think that being rich would change your life, it wouldn’t.  It just brings on a whole new set of issues.  You can never feel secure in knowing that people love and accept you for who you are.  You can never totally trust that people aren’t only liking you for your money.  Having worked with this class of people, it’s easy to see why many of them commit suicide.  The rest of us can only shake our head in wonder thinking that they had everything.  How could they possibly end their life? 

The truth is, none of us have it made.  Life is hard for each and every one of us.  For those of us who think that others we know have it made because they only share with us the positive things, know that they too have the troubles and concerns that we all have.  They are just too proud to share or don’t want to share for whatever reason.  Don’t ever believe that someone else has it better than you.  No matter what your condition is.  We all have our blessings and our troubles.

Ummm, how did I get to here?  OHHH, yes, well, let me tell you.  One of the greatest things that I can do for Humanity is to talk about the Success to Significance story.  While it applies mostly to the rich, it can apply to all of us. 

Those who have worked hard and amassed a great fortune have achieved their success.  But what does it mean?  Not much.  So you’ve got the money, so you live in a great big house and travel the world and drive nice cars and have it “made in the shade.”  But now what? 

When you die, unless you have planned well, perhaps half of your wealth is going to be shifted to Social Capital.  Whether you like it or not, half of your estate will probably go to social capital.  And now, with a socialist in the White House, do you expect that he will try to shift even more of your money to this “social capital?”

When you die, half of your money is going to go to the default Charity, the IRS.  Yes, the estate tax burden is heavy and Uncle Sam is going to take your money.  And what is Uncle Sam going to do with it all?  Probably use it to pay interest to the Chinese since they own all of our debt.  Isn’t it nice to know that all of the wealth that you have worked so hard to amass will probably go to foreigners to pay interest on the national debt?  Or, if we continue to fight wars, it will also go for that.  It will probably also go to fund abortions and many other things that you may detest!

Since you will be required to contribute to social capital, wouldn’t you want to direct this social capital to causes you support instead of letting the government use it as it chooses?  Yes?  No?  Don’t care?  Of course you care.

There are estate planning strategies that can allow you to shift as much wealth as you wish to your heirs and pay $0 in estate taxes.  I know.  I’ve done this kind of planning for years.  And it’s all legal.  All of the estate strategies used are plain vanilla strategies that are written into the tax code.  You don’t need fancy, complex strategies that require that you read a White Paper, sign confidentiality forms and have insurance to cover your tax risk.  It’s all straight forward and legal.

Anyway, I could go on and on and on with this but I won’t in this episode.  But I will start writing more about this in other blogs.  If you want to know more about it or know rich people who find their life is empty, we should talk.  Being charitable and establishing a legacy is a wonderful thing and usually gives rich people, who have become bored with their lives, something to be excited about.  A new purpose in life.

I encourage anyone out there who reads this blog to comment and encourage.  Let’s all get the message out.  There are trillions and trillions of new dollars being pumped into the economy today.  Obama and the Federal Reserve are doing it.  Why can’t we all take a stand and start shifting some of this money to people who really need it?  There is no need for socialism in this country.  Capitalism works fine. It’s up to us to encourage rich people to establish a legacy and be a part of taking care of the needy.  Why is there hunger and poverty in the US?  WHy are people sick and dying of easily cured diseases?  It’s not right and it’s up to us to fix it.  Even if we don’t have the money, we can get the word out. 

It is in helping the needy that we can truly be fulfilled.  By helping the needy, we are “DOING GOD’S WORK ON EARTH”

Continuing Forward . . .

But the time had come and I was ready for a drink. 

My first impulse was to have a beer with some shots of whiskey.  Then, I was thinking Martini!  I really got motivated to have a drink when a “friend” on Facebook wrote how it’s Friday and time to relax with a beer, Grey Goose, etc…  In my San Diego days, Friday after work always included an office trip to Dave and Busters and lots of Grey Goose.  It has been a stressful week for many reasons and I really really wanted to have something.  I wish I had an alternative. 

I struggled with it until the moment that I ordered.  I had a glass of wine instead of something hard.   Actually, I wound up having two.  I remembered my calendar with the Green days for no drinks, Yellow for 1-2 and Red for more. 

Well, having the drink turned out to be unlike suicide or quitting my job or anything so dramatic.  I didn’t allow myself to get drunk.  No follow through.  No drinks this morning.  In fact, I just want to move on and not dwell on it.  I don’t feel that I am a failure.  That was my biggest fear.  Feeling down on myself is one of the biggest reasons that I want to drink sometimes.  I don’t want to view myself as a failure.  That in itself would cause me to want to drink more. 

I view today just like every other.  I need to keep my focus with work and stay sober. 

For those with an interest, I’d like to tell you about a new project I am involved in.  Since I have returned to Chicago, I have started to get involved with my graduate school’s alumni association.  We are starting a community outreach program to provide assistance to charitable organizations.

The graduate school I went to the Kellogg Graduate School of Management at Northwestern, is generally regarded as one of the top business schools in the country.  We will be reaching out to charitable organizations to discover their needs.  Once this is done, we will reach out to our alums who are interested in providing free consulting or sitting on the boards of directors, etc.

I will know more after our next meeting on Monday night.  If you are involved with a non-profit and need some help, let me know.  We have alumni in every part of the world.  Many are very successful and are interested in giving back to the community.